Wow, life was really a struggle the last time I posted. Things have gotten easier, and harder all at once. God has really done some things, and worked in ways that are simply astonishing to me. When we were nearly out of food, we would always end up having some way of still being able to make it another day, whether it be a few dollars in the bank account, someone dropping off groceries, or just finding random things that I knew we had run out of...but yet, find them sitting in my cupboards.
I still don't really know what God's plan is for us, and where He is taking us in life...I don't think I ever will understand his plans. That's part of having such a mysterious God for a father. All I can do is know that He has put us here in this place, not to fail, but to really live, and love people. In this season of life, it has been hard not feeling adequate, or really used. I'm a stay at home mom, until I graduate with my bachelors in a little under 4 years. After that, I will be a social worker, and available to help others. For now, my mission field seems to be my kids. I know that over the past, I really have not been the best to them that I could be, because of stress and life getting in the way. I haven't been the Jesus that I so desperately want them to know. I'm working on it though, and I can see improvement, not only with their attitudes, but my own as well.
We're also in a stage in life where I think God has just set in us a desperate longing for Him. We don't have a house church here, and we don't have friends that are within our age bracket to meet together with. Joe's job has scheduled him in a way that going to our normal meetings with the body are nearly impossible, unless he forces himself through the lack of sleep. It's made us have to bond with each other more, and really spend more time with God. We've realized how impossible it is to really do things on our own, because, we can't. I am thankful for the hours, and I am thankful for him giving us the funds to be able to keep our internet on in order to do school, but I so miss the rest of the body.
I still wonder about how we're going to get a bigger vehicle, and rent a house on just Joe's income, but I still have to trust that God has this all under control. He blessed us with another child for a reason. Like I said earlier, I don't know His plans. The only thing I can do is choose to walk in faith, and take the road of adventure that He has set out before us.
